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  • Writer's picturehelenmergen

"Bir Daha" Visualizer Process

As a video producer, I have been having a hard time with perfectionism; I know my potential, I cannot make something mediocre. But this has always been holding me back, I end up either not making things or making mediocre things as result. So, I said, fuck it. I took my tripod, my phone gimbal, my phone and set it up facing the window, to capture my silhouette as I dance to my song with my headphones on.

I took several vertical videos, one horizontal, had so much fun and understood, once again the millionth time: you gotta trust the process. The clouds and the sun did so many plays in the sky, which is not to see in the visualiser but it was amazing to watch and captured it as much as an iPhone 8's camera can... My initial idea was just to upload one video as it is. But afterwards I decided to key the black areas and add images. I wanted to go simple with what I choose, especially with variety of the animated videos. The bridge of the song made me go even simpler with just changing the color of the sky, which is kitschy, lol, but I wanted to add something to that moment with minimum effort. Suddenly I had a flashback of a random funny video I made with my friend back in 2016, where I did that effect, changing the white of the paper color to all sort of colours. So, I did that to the sky, which if you want to look at it that way, changing feelings of the song, I mean, if you want... Perfectionism that I have is -now I know- related to ADHD. I have been self-diagnosed for 1,5 years thanks to all the information shared on TikTok (yes, there are so many useful information as much as the trashy ones) and by my doctor, 7 months now. I talk about it, I write about it. Since this video is one of the things I made, breaking my limited believes, I dedicated it to neurodivergent people like me, while -in this moment I see- auto-corrections still not accepting "neurodivergent" as a correct word yet and underlining the word with red. Everyday I do something to take one step forward towards functioning in this world as I am creating my own for many of us to be able to enjoy more than struggle. I hope you enjoy the song, dance to it with me through out the video (Click here to watch Bir Daha Visualizer). Talk to you later! Love, Mental Health & Rock'nRoll Oravayka aka Helın Mergen

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